Monday, May 7, 2007

Day 1 - Surrender/The Problem Eater

So I really didn't think I had a problem with this until after my figure competition. After Body for LIFE I had it all under control and YES I did take full advantage of Free Day. Then after I competed and was Super Strict for 15 weeks...maintenance wasn't as easy as I thought. I just kept telling myself..I will get right back on Body for LIFE and everything will be just fine. didn't happen that way. After being so strict ..Body for LIFE (even though VERY healthy and the perfect plan) made me feel like I was cheating. So my mind would say..geez you are cheating so you might as well just eat whatever. SO SILLY and not good. For the most part I do stay on track, but those few days that I didn't really messed with my mind. I am very hard on myself and as you all know an all or nothing type of person. Those few failures really can take a toll on my mind.

This is where my whole Faithfully Fit journey is coming in. I know I am Strong and I know I have's when I step away from the Lord that everything starts crumbling. I know, I know, I know when I am off track. I feel so unbalanced and like I'm not doing enough, giving enough of myself and then deep down I'm empty and feeling like a failure.

No more of this. I refuse to stay in prison and this stinkin thinkin must go.

White Flag

Lord, I'm putting up the white flag, throwing down my pride, Wholly and completely sold out to your side.
I'm putting up the white flag; it's what I want to do.
I'm surrendering my whole life,
Surrendering my whole life, Lord, to you.

There's been a battle here inside me ever since I can recall,
Since I heard you asking me to let you have it all.
Now I wonder why I fought you, tried to do things my own way,
When the joy is in surrendering and coming home to stay.

Well, it took some time to see it, to really understand
I'm only giving back to you the works of your own hand.
You designed me and you made me to use in your own way,
So I'm trusting you to take my life and use it every day.


Lori said...

I understand this all too well. I hav been doing the same thing and I'm like that too...all or nothing. It's a hard thing to overcome but we can do it.

C2 said...

Once again, great post Tracy. Interesing thoughts on the all or nothing concept. I believe a majority of women feel this way but do they feel this way with just their fitness goals or with all areas of their life? I think the "all or nothing" concept leads to a kind of perfectionism that defines everything short of 100% success as a failure. To a point, such perfectionism can lead us to try harder, but in the long run, without a doubt, it tends to discourage us from trying at all. I am "working" on this issue because I strive to be perfect all the time in every area of my life but isn't it really about progressing and not about perfection? :-)